


So Alone

by Harmonic_Brush3



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Sad, writingmyfeelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 11:33:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11485539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harmonic_Brush3/pseuds/Harmonic_Brush3
Summary: Barry Allen is in the speed force prison, where he lives in a fake, normal life that the speed force has set up for him.Barry knows something is missing, and he feels so alone.





	So Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, this story is just reflecting how I felt for most of my life and currently. Basically how a Starseed feels.

It never was a prison.  
But I feel like it's hell.  
Every day, I get up. In a bed that is not mine. I awake up to a room that is not mine.  
Now I suppose I'm used to it.  
But every time I awake, I remember the dreams. I remember them.  
And I can't remember if they are real. Or if they are fiction.  
Cisco Ramon. Caitlin Snow. Iris West. Joe West. Wally West...So many names go through my head, but I can't tell if I'll ever see them again.  
When I go down the hall, I recall my dreams, and the sense of longing that flows through me, slowly pains me.  
I put my hands on my face and sometimes ask myself if this is real.  
I want to dream forever.  
If I'm always going to be here, where I don't belong.  
"Hi Grandma" I said.  
She waves.  
But she's not my grandma. I care about her...But this is not my life.  
It's simple.  
There's no saving people. It's so...Dull.  
I don't know anymore. I feel like I'm mad, I have everything I need, but I don't feel happy.  
The Flash.  
That's who I am.  
That's the life I want. Adventure, saving people. I want that.  
"Your too caught up in your fantasies, Barr.." She says.  
But am I?  
"Get a girlfriend.." She says.  
Iris.  
She's the girl I love.  
I can't. I can't find a girl. She is my lover. I can't move on from her.  
"She isn't real." She says.  
I know. I know she isn't.  
But the feelings of love remain the same.  
Have you ever felt numb? Have you ever felt lost?  
I'm so lost.  
Have you ever felt alone?  
I feel so alone.  
I'm so numb.  
I can almost hear Cisco's laugh, I can almost see his black hair waving in his face. I can almost feel his hand patting my back.  
So many dreams. So many.  
Many of fear. Of a Man in Yellow. Of a speedster named Zoom.  
A girl named Caitlin. I should have helped her...  
But she isn't real.  
"Stop obsessing" She says.  
But I can't.  
"Get friends." She says.  
No one understands me.  
That's what made them so....special.  
Something is not right.  
"Is that all life has to offer..?" I ask.  
"What do you mean?'' She asks.  
"Seriously." I ask. "I can't save people? I can't run at super speed? A normal job? I can't. This can't be real. This life isn't the type I want to live."  
"Your too caught up in your dreams. I should send you to a counselor" She said.  
I roll my eyes.  
Every day, I walk the streets. I look up at the stars. They shine so bright. I wonder if they are there.  
If my friends are there.  
I ask myself.  
What's even real, anymore?  
Where do I belong..?  
Is this a prison? Or is this just life?  
Will I go through this always feeling detached..?  
What's even real, anymore?


End file.
